{"id":1419,"date":"2012-03-24T23:10:36","date_gmt":"2012-03-25T06:10:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/?p=1419"},"modified":"2012-03-27T00:47:29","modified_gmt":"2012-03-27T07:47:29","slug":"gypstone%e2%80%99s-deluxe-mobile-head-massager","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/?p=1419","title":{"rendered":"Gypstone\u2019s Deluxe Mobile Head Massager"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s the next trend setting SKYMart product that will surely be a crowd pleaser.<\/p>\n<p class=\"size-full wp-image-1431\" title=\"headmassager\">What\u2019s more fun than perusing those in-flight shopping magazines and seeing fun products that everyone needs like ping pong ball cannons, solar powered face fans for your dog, and your very own life-size bronze sculpture of Simon Cowell\u2026all on sale at exorbitant prices? Not much if you ask us. That\u2019s why we\u2019re teaming with SKYMart, America\u2019s favorite in-flight <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">crap merchant<\/span>shopping mart, to bring you the best in people pleasing products. So break out your credit cards and prepare yourself for debilitating debt!<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_1431\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1431\" style=\"width: 500px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/?attachment_id=1431\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-1431\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-1431\" title=\"headmassager\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/headmassager.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"500\" height=\"376\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/headmassager.jpg 500w, http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/headmassager-300x225.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 85vw, 500px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-1431\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Have you ever been sitting in the airport and wanted your head massaged? You just can\u2019t ask a stranger to rub his fingers over your noggin: just think of the germs, GROSS! Well, now you can get that much needed relief with the Deluxe Mobile Head Massager from the leader in trendy, superfluous health products, Gypstone. Just place the chic looking, form fitting helmet on your head, tighten the lug nuts for a snug fit and relax. Feel the soothing, gyrating, molded plastic buffers rasp over your scalp, as Gypstone\u2019s patented computerized, Massago-motors gently rattle your skull into incoherence. And the best thing is that it\u2019s mobile. You can wear it anywhere: at the store, at the movies, at the bullfights, at the sumo-wrestling matches, driving the car, flying a plane, commanding a submarine or even making out. And since it\u2019s so great looking, members of the opposite sex will find you completely irresistible. It even comes in two colors: Navy Blue and Flamingo Pink. So get ahead of the Joneses and purchase the Deluxe Mobile Head Massager from Gypstone. Sale Price: $25,000. This product may result in dizziness, nausea, and general befuddlement.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s the next trend setting SKYMart product that will surely be a crowd pleaser. What\u2019s more fun than perusing those in-flight shopping magazines and seeing fun products that everyone needs like ping pong ball cannons, solar powered face fans for your dog, and your very own life-size bronze sculpture of Simon Cowell\u2026all on sale at &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/?p=1419\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Gypstone\u2019s Deluxe Mobile Head Massager&#8221;<\/span><\/a><!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[23],"tags":[460,459,461,98,462,24],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1419"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1419"}],"version-history":[{"count":16,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1419\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1438,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1419\/revisions\/1438"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1419"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1419"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1419"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}