Continuing with our Corporate BS retrospective…This article is from our March 13th, 2005 issue, back when then President Bush signed the ‘Tort Reform’ bill. Never forget folks: corporations are the most important ‘people’ in America.<\/p>\n
President Bush came to the rescue of poor American corporations recently when he signed into law the so called \u2018Tort Reform\u2019 bill which places limits on class action lawsuits placed against corporations.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis is a momentous occasion for my corporate benefactors,\u201d said Bush. \u201cFrom now on, our poor, defenseless American corporations will never be fleeced by greedy, money-grubbing consumers who are out to screw our decent CEOs out of their hard earned millions.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sally Whitman, spokesperson of Drugzilla, one of America\u2019s leading pharmaceutical companies, praised the legislation. \u201cThis bill is a godsend. I\u2019m so sick of people complaining, \u2018Oh, this medicine caused me to break out in a rash\u2019, \u2018This medicine made my child vomit\u2019, \u2018This medicine killed my husband\u2019. Has anyone heard of the phrase, \u2018Buyer Beware\u2019? No one held a gun to your head to take the medicine. A doctor\u2019s prescription doesn\u2019t necessarily have to be followed, people.\u201d<\/p>\n
Dr. Ted Cargill said, \u201cThis is great for all us doctors who\u2019ve ever had to worry about malpractice suits. Now when I mistakenly amputate a patient\u2019s right leg instead of the left leg, I won\u2019t have to suffer any consequences, like losing my license to practice medicine, my membership at the country club or my Porsche. God, I\u2019d die if I lost my Porsche.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lawrence T. Juggers, President and CEO of Juggermart, said, \u201cNow I don\u2019t have to put up with employee complaints of working them over forty hours a week. They\u2019ll work when I want them to work. When I say jump, they\u2019ll say \u2018How high, Mr. Juggers?\u2019 I bet I can even get away with paying less than minimum wage now. That means maybe I can get vacation home number ten. I\u2019m thinking a nice little hideaway in Aruba will do nicely.\u201d<\/p>\n
Consumer advocate, Clarence Simons, said, \u201cThis is disastrous for the average American. While it may be true there are a few tort lawyers who abuse the system, the majority of the cases brought before the state courts are legitimate. Now that the tort cases will be brought before federal courts, the likelihood of a case being dismissed will be greater. The consumer stands the chance of not having any retribution if they purchase a faulty product, have a conflict with an employer or are harmed by defective drugs. They will have no rights.\u201d<\/p>\n
Americans seemed ambivalent about the bill. Jenny Miller of Madison, Wisconsin, said, \u201cI welcome corporate slavery. I don\u2019t mind working an extra five, ten or twenty hours a week for my boss. I mean he doesn\u2019t pay me more but there are benefits. He lets me take an extra donut every morning. I\u2019d say that more than makes up for it.\u201d<\/p>\n
James S. Quinton, of Atlanta, Georgia, said, \u201cWell I was going to sue Dr. Jamieson\u2019s ass for giving me a sex change operation instead of a vasectomy. But I guess I can get used to wearing pantyhose and heels. I hope my wife doesn\u2019t mind if I use hers.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ernest Jefferson, of Houston, Texas, who lost his life savings in the Enron scandal, said, \u201cWhen I say the word, can you kick the chair I\u2019m standing on out from underneath my legs. Thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Continuing with our Corporate BS retrospective…This article is from our March 13th, 2005 issue, back when then President Bush signed the ‘Tort Reform’ bill. Never forget folks: corporations are the most important ‘people’ in America. Bush\u2019s Tort Reform Aids Poor, Defenseless Corporations President Bush came to the rescue of poor American corporations recently when he … Continue reading “Those Poor, Poor Millionaires”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[379,60,85],"tags":[50,395,414,20,389,27,413,410,411,415,409,412],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1276"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1276"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1276\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1285,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1276\/revisions\/1285"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1276"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}