{"id":1431,"date":"2012-03-24T23:15:28","date_gmt":"2012-03-25T06:15:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/headmassager.jpg"},"modified":"2012-03-24T23:15:28","modified_gmt":"2012-03-25T06:15:28","slug":"headmassager","status":"inherit","type":"attachment","link":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/?attachment_id=1431","title":{"rendered":"headmassager"},"author":1,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":[],"description":{"rendered":"<p class=\"attachment\"><a href='http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/headmassager.jpg'><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" src=\"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/headmassager-300x225.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium size-medium\" alt=\"SKYMart Bargains - Gypstone\u2019s Deluxe Mobile Head Massager\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/headmassager-300x225.jpg 300w, http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/headmassager.jpg 500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 85vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->"},"caption":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever been sitting in the airport and wanted your head massaged? You just can\u2019t ask a stranger to rub his fingers over your noggin: just think of the germs, GROSS! Well, now you can get that much needed relief with the Deluxe Mobile Head Massager from the leader in trendy, superfluous health products, Gypstone. Just place the chic looking, form fitting helmet on your head, tighten the lug nuts for a snug fit and relax.  Feel the soothing, gyrating, molded plastic buffers rasp over your scalp, as Gypstone\u2019s patented computerized, Massago-motors gently rattle your skull into incoherence. And the best thing is that it\u2019s mobile. You can wear it anywhere: at the store, at the movies, at the bullfights, at the sumo-wrestling matches, driving the car, flying a plane, commanding a submarine or even making out. And since it\u2019s so great looking, members of the opposite sex will find you completely irresistible. It even comes in two colors: Navy Blue and Flamingo Pink. So get ahead of the Joneses and purchase the Deluxe Mobile Head Massager from Gypstone. Sale Price: $25,000. This product may result in dizziness, nausea, and general befuddlement.<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n"},"alt_text":"SKYMart Bargains - Gypstone\u2019s Deluxe Mobile Head Massager","media_type":"image","mime_type":"image\/jpeg","media_details":{"width":"500","height":"376","hwstring_small":"height='96' width='128'","file":"headmassager.jpg","sizes":{"thumbnail":{"file":"headmassager-150x150.jpg","width":"150","height":"150","source_url":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/headmassager-150x150.jpg"},"medium":{"file":"headmassager-300x225.jpg","width":"300","height":"225","source_url":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/headmassager-300x225.jpg"},"full":{"file":"headmassager.jpg","width":500,"height":376,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","source_url":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/headmassager.jpg"}},"image_meta":{"aperture":"0","credit":"","camera":"","caption":"","created_timestamp":"0","copyright":"","focal_length":"0","iso":"0","shutter_speed":"0","title":""}},"post":1419,"source_url":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/headmassager.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1431"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/attachment"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bilgebucket.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1431"}]}}