Tag Archive for headlines

More Aught 3 Headlines

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

Continuing with our headlines retrospective, here are some more from that fabulous year of 2003.

Bald Guy Sick Of Mr. Clean References
Bonds Pulls Up A Seat To Watch His Home Run
Limbaugh Admits He Took Oxycontin But Didn’t Swallow
Dateless Wonder Contemplates Other Species
Schwarzenegger Groping For Answers, Breasts

Headlines Revisited

2023 marks the 20th anniversary of the BilgeBucket Gazette. Our first issue was on May 19, 2003 and we’ve been shoveling it to the public, just like the corporate media, ever since. We changed our format to a WordPress blog in 2011 so all of our earlier material was archived. We’ve been reposting many of those archived articles, headlines, photo-toons, BilgeBucket Lists and other content over the past twelve years. In honor of our 20th, and because we’re sick of the current state of affairs in the world, we’ll be reposting more items from 2003 through 2009 throughout this year.

From 2003 to 2009, we featured many great headlines in our webzine. We’ve already posted many in our Headlines category. Here are a few more we’ve dug up from the year 2003.

Self Absorbed Actress Smitten By Self Absorbed Actor
Dr. Phil Loses It: Advises Couple To Kill Each Other
Loser Laments Being Hated: Vows To Eat Some Worms
Scientists Clone A Horse, Of Course, Of Course
Iraq News: Ba’ath Party Out, Shower Party In

More Aught 5 Headlines


More headlines from aught 5. No groaning, please.

Martha Stewart Released From Prison: Terror Alert Raised To Red
Local Couple Vacations In Des Moines: Sez “We’ve Been Craving Boredom”
Lil’ Kim To Do A Lil’ Time
Chicken Rancher Crows About Prize Winning Cock
Bush Enlists Shark Boy and Lava Girl To Fight Terrorists

Aught 5 Headlines

More headlines, this time from ’05 (or aught 5 as us grizzled old desert rats say).

Aniston, Pitt Split: Life As We Know It Likely Over
Meaning Of Life Revealed In Ashlee Simpson Song
Bush Proposes $80 Gazillion More Dollars For Iraq: Vows To Remove Troops By 22nd Century
Rumsfeld Launches New Fragrance: Rummy
MLB’s Angels Rename Team: Now Called The Amazing Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Located In The Trendy California County Of Orange In The Awesome Country Of The United States Of America

Headlines, Get Your Headlines

More headlines from that glorious year 2004.

New Clinton Library Has Smokin’ Hot Adult Section
BilgeBucket Gazette Predicts Nader Landslide
Local Tabby Gets Cat Scan
Intelligence Is Major Concern For Bush
Dan Quayle Endorses Bush: Sez “He’s Smarte!”

Headline Hit Parade

Continuing with the headline hit parade from 2004.

Bush’s Solution For Rising Healthcare Costs: Don’t Get Sick
Goodfellas Cast Reunites For Nostalgic Dinner And Whacking
Gambling Vampire Dreads High Stakes Poker
Local Nerd Spends Weekend Playing With Palm
Cheney Jealous Of Trump Nickname: Wants To Be Called ‘The Dick’

It’s Time for Headlines

Here are even more thought provoking headlines from 2004.

Rumsfeld Reveals His Idol Is Cody Banks
Method Man Method Acts
Porn Industry Could Be Screwed
Local Tinker Gives A Damn
Shocking News: Baghdad Tourism Lagging

Headlines Again

Here are some more hilarious, funny, mildly smile-inducing headlines from 2004.

Bush Outsources Presidency To India
Local Man Puts Off Procrastinating Until Tomorrow
Shocking News: Oprah On Cover Of O Magazine!!!
Poll Shows Americans Hate Polls
Local Man Hangs Out At Nudist Beach

Headlines Circa 2004

Here are some headlines from 2004…

Tony Robbins Infomercial Motivates Man To Change Channels
Pyromaniac Starts Dating Old Flame
Congress Passes Resolution That God Bless America Only
Shelter Opens For Battered Fish
Pete Rose Bets That Baseball Reinstates Him

Even More Headlines

Even more amusing headlines from 2003…

Local Locksmith Concocts Lame-Ass ‘Locktoberfest’ Promotion
Fun Size Candy Bar Not All That Fun
Local Visigoth Sacks Groceries
Tennis Star Indicted For Racketeering
Kalamazoo Man Doesn’t Love Raymond