Festivus is officially celebrated on December 23rd…so we’re late a couple days. Happy Festivus to everyone, especially Bill O’Reilly!
Tag Archive for festivus
Celebrate Christmas or Die!
Do you need a last minute holiday gift? You came to the right place! Fox News talk show host Bill O’Reilly, whose only goal in life is to look out for you, has released a new book just in time for you to buy it and stuff it… in your stocking for Christmas, Festivus or whatever the hell holiday you celebrate this time of year. He gives key strategies on dealing with people who have non-Christian ideologies and how to beat the holy hell out them, all in the joyous spirit of the season. And with a foreward by Ms. Ubetcha, how can anyone refuse!
Fox News talk show host Bill O'Reilly, whose only goal in life is to look out for you, has released a new book filled with strategies on how to annihilate anyone who has the audacity to wish you 'Happy Holidays' instead of 'Merry Christmas'.
Top Holiday Gifts For 2013
The holiday season is in full swing. If you haven’t spent yourself into bankruptcy yet and are still looking for the right gift for that special someone in your life, look no further. Our intrepid staff has conveniently compiled a list of the hot “gotta have it” items for this years holiday season. Take this to the mall and don’t forget your helmet, spiked gloves and shoulder pads. Holiday shopping is dangerous!
- An Official Miley Cyrus Foam Finger
- A painting by George W. Bush of George W. Bush in the bathtub
- ‘Moby Dick’ by Rand Paul
- The NSA Super Snooper Spy Kit – For Kids
- Ted Cruz’s new fragrance: Arrogant Ass
- A lump of coal autographed by Dick Cheney
- ‘The Great Gatsby’ by Rand Paul
- Sarah Palin’s Book ‘Good Tidings and Great Joy’ Yule Log
- ‘Kwanzaa For Dummies’ by Paula Deen
- A Carlos Danger Action Figure with Realistic Twerkin’ Motion
- Walter White’s Meth Starter Kit – For Kids
- ‘Atlas Shrugged’ by Rand Paul
- A ‘Jesus was a Liberal’ T-Shirt (blatant capitalistic plug)
- Guns, guns and more guns
- Healthcare
Top Holiday Gifts For 2011
The holiday season is in full swing. If you haven’t spent yourself into bankruptcy yet and are still looking for the right gift for that special someone in your life, look no further. Our intrepid staff has conveniently compiled a list of the hot “gotta have it” items for this years holiday season. Take this to the mall and don’t forget your helmet, spiked gloves and shoulder pads. Holiday shopping is dangerous!
- A set of masonry drill bits
- Texas Hold ‘Em Poker Starter Set – For Kids
- Mazeltel’s Talking Menorah featuring the voice of Fran Drescher
- Mercenary Jesus Hummel Figurine
- Lindsay Lohan’s new fragrance: Eau dat Skank
- Pischer Frice’s My First AK-47 – For Kids
- A jar of Colon Cleanse
- A $30,000 Tiffany’s yellow diamond ring with a double-row of white round brilliant diamonds in platinum and 18k gold – Oops…That’s just for Newt and Callista Gingrich
- Allahsbro’s Lil’ Suicider Fun Kit
- Joan Rivers’ Do-It-Yourself Skin Tightening Clamps
- Fear Factor Bug And Testicle Blender – For Kids
- A barrel of sweet crude
- ‘My Favorite Kwanzaa Memories‘ audio CD by Mitt Romney
- A shiny, new Festivus pole