Tag Archive for economy

CEO Dan Price Gets It

It’s only April but we here at the Bucket already have a nominee for Person of the Year. CEO Dan Price of Seattle’s Gravity Payments, a credit card processing company, lowered his pay by a million dollars and raised the pay of his workers so that the minimum wage at his company is $70k a year. Finally, a CEO that gets it! Since the ’80s, when Reaganomics brought upon massive deregulation, CEO salaries have skyrocketed so that now the average difference between CEO and worker salary in America, is around 257:1. For comparison purposes, in other countries, gaps range from between 28 in Poland to 148 in Switzerland (this report also reports the American gap at 354:1). This move by Dan Price is a breath of fresh air. Now if only more CEOs would follow his lead, workers would finally be able to have a living wage. They would have more money to not only afford the basics but also buy other items, which will in turn help boost the economy. Kudos to Dan Price!!! We salute you!!!

Billionaire President and CEO of Juggermart, Lawrence T. Juggers, says Dan Price is wrong and that CEOs need to treat employees like the scum they are.

Billionaire President and CEO of Juggermart, Lawrence T. Juggers, demonstrates why most Americans view today's CEOs as being greedy assholes.

Spill? What Spill?

The water in Charleston, West Virginia has finally been declared safe for drinking after a chemical spill into the Elk River from Freedom Industries on January 9th. This happened when an aging containment tank leaked MCHM, which is an agent used in processing coal, into the Elk River above the water intake for the company which provides water service for the area. It appears that this facility hadn’t been inspected by federal or state officials since 1991. It was also just determined that another chemical called PPH was also leaked into the water. Of course, since the government is controlled by the oil, gas and coal industries, it’s not surprising that Washington is using the  “there’s nothing to see here” approach to damage control (remember the BP Gulf of Mexico oil spill a few years back). John Boehner said no new regulations are needed and all the other corporate lackeys in Washington are keeping mum as well. But this shouldn’t be surprising since our elected officials, especially Republicans, have been trying to reduce regulations and oversight since the Reagan administration. Dubya even put industry officials in key positions in the EPA. That’s like putting the mouse in charge of the cheese. Next industry officials will be trying to spin that MCHM and PPH are good for you. It’s smells like licorice, how bad can it be, right?

The water in Charleston, West Virginia tastes a lot like Freedom these days thanks to the coal industry.

A coal industry representative performs damage control with the citizens of Charleston, West Virginia after a chemical spill from an aging Freedom Industries tank leaked into the local water supply.

Poor Wittle Baby

Georgia GOP Representative Phil Gingrey whined recently in a meeting about being stuck in Congress making $172k a year, while his staff can go out and get rich as lobbyists. All together now…Aaaaahhhhhhh! Poor wittle Phillie Gingrey!!! He can’t make it on just $172,000 a year! This would normally just be another of the myriads of examples of crybaby Republicans not getting their way, but what makes this even more profoundly disturbing is that these so called ‘compassionate conservatives’ just voted to cut funding for food stamps. So to review from events this past week: House Republicans say we’ve got money to go to war in Syria, but no money to feed our own citizens. Yessirree, that Jesus-like compassion is shining right through.

GOP Representative and well known pauper, Phil Gingrey, shows Jesus-like compassion for the poor and downtrodden.

Holding The Nation Hostage

Speaker of the House John Boehner, (pronounced bo-ner), and the House Republicans recently voted to repeal Obamacare for the the 40th time. The new GOP plan is something akin to holding the government hostage: repeal Obamacare or we’ll shut down the government. If there was any doubt that the Republicans have been nothing but whiny, sucky, crybaby obstructionists, then this should chisel it in stone. Even Super Neocon Newt Gingrich said that Republicans rip Obamacare but have no alternatives to it. Ahh yes! The party of No continues it reign of terror in Congress. There’s nothing more patriotic than that.

Speaker of the House and Chief Oompa Loompa, John Boehner, reveals the GOP’s patriotic plan to save America from the horrors of Obamacare.


Corporate Ultimatum: Vote Romney…Or Else

Republican candidate, Spiff Romney, has been getting a lot of help from his plutocrat CEO buddies lately. It seems that several CEO’s and corporate heads are pressuring their employees into voting for Romney or face the consequences, like losing their jobs. You would think that this kind of heavy handed manipulation would be illegal, but apparently it’s not. So there you have it folks; if you want to keep your low paying jobs so you can barely pay your bills, you better vote for the plutocrat. And they say that there’s no class warfare.

GOP candidate, Spiff Romney, shows his gratitude to MegaloCorpBank CEO J. Charles Harrington IV, one of many corporate heads to pressure their employees into voting for Romney...or else.

Romney Creates Jobs…IN CHINA!

We came across an interesting article while surfing the ‘interwebs’. It appears, GOP candidate, Spiff Romney, who has been spouting off on how we should stop shipping jobs to China, is…drum role please…shipping jobs to China! Yes, it appears that one of the companies Bain capital harvested, Sensata, which makes sensors for automobiles, announced it is closing a factory in Freeport, Ill., and sending the manufacturing jobs to China. The full story can be read at this LINK. Yes, Romney continues to show us why he belongs in a used car lot and not the White House.

GOP candidate, Spiff Romney, compassionately tells an American worker of job opportunities in China.


Conservatives Without Conservation

We read an article online ranking the worst environmental presidents in history and to no one’s surprise, ol’ Dubya ranked as the worst. And not surprisingly, many Republican presidents were equally as bad (St. Ronald Reagan was 2nd). There’s not a lot of conservation in today’s conservative. Why can’t more Republicans see the environment like Teddy Roosevelt did: something to be preserved for future generations to enjoy. Oh that’s right: there’s money to be made.

Here’s an article from our August 14, 2003 issue, back when Dubya was in favor of corporate sponsorship of our National Parks. Talk about putting the wolves in the sheep pen.

Exxon-Mobil To Sponsor Yellowstone Park

As part of President Bush’s plan to outsource federal jobs to the private sector, Yellowstone National Park will now be sponsored by Exxon-Mobil.

“We are very pleased with this development,” said President Bush. “This will cut federal costs and will result in the park running more efficiently.” He paused and then added, “Oh and we’ll also get to drill for more Texas tea.”

Exxon-Mobil spokesman, Walter B. Jamieson said, “This will be the greatest park in the world. We’ll put in some roller coasters, five star hotels, and world class shopping. Of course, the wildlife will be perfectly preserved. They’ll be placed in zoos. And get this, the kids will get to pet, feed and kill their own buffaloes. What a deal!”

Yellowstone visitor, eight year old, Kimmy Taylor was excited about the new park. “This park is so boring now. I can’t wait to ride the new rides, play arcade games and plug a buffalo.”

Exxon-Mobil employees will be stationed throughout the park, guiding tourists to shopping, pointing out old points of interest and explaining why privatization of national parks is a good, necessary, patriotic thing to do.

Park officials also plan to open up drill sites to tourists so they can see a good old fashioned oil strike. “If you think Ol’ Faithful was something,” said Jamieson. “Wait until you get a load of a gusher spurting that beautiful black gold into the air. Oh God! Oh God!!! What a sight!!!!” Jamieson then excused himself and went to the bathroom to masturbate.

Other proposed corporate sponsorships include: Georgia-Pacific Redwood National Park, Texaco Zion National Park, and Phelps Dodge Grand Canyon National Park.

Austerity Fashions

Austerity seems to be the big buzz word in America right now with the economy limping along and no real turn around in sight. People are tightening their belts(if they have them) and looking ways to make ends meet. Here’s a photo-toon from December 29, 2008 issue which depicts the possible return of a fashion option from the Great Depression.

Fashion designers have brought back an old favorite for the current economic downturn.



President Obama sure is making it difficult for his supporters to maintain confidence in him. Just this past week, he postponed his jobs speech to satisfy a few GOP whiners and caved into industry and their Republican lackeys by withdrawing support for EPA supported regulations, which would have tightened pollution controls (breathing clean air is overrated anyway, right). He’s also considering capitulating to Big Oil and supporting the Tar Sands Keystone XL Pipeline, which would bring oil from Canada down through the central plains of United States to Texas to be refined (let the oil addiction continue). Not exactly the environmentally friendly, alternative energy boosting person he portrayed himself to be. At this rate, Obama may have to pull an LBJ and announce that he will not seek re-election for a second term. But then again, look at the leading GOP candidates. Yep! The 2012 election will be one titanic joke.

President Obama, like many of his fellow Democrats, seems to be regressing into an invertebrate.


Support Your Local Millionaires

It’s August and like the weather, the pennant races are heating up. Surprisingly, the Arizona Diamondbacks are in first place in the National League West. We applaud this plucky team, especially hard nosed manager Kirk Gibson. This was a group of slackers who, thanks to Gibson’s guidance, have decided to compete this summer. But we were reading an article in the local online rag, that since they were doing so well, the players expected more people to be attending the games. Attendance has been pretty mediocre for a first place team and some players and front office types were expressing disappointment that more people weren’t attending games. Are athletes and execs that far removed from the sufferings of average citizens? It’s not that people don’t want to come. It’s because they can’t afford to come. This is a bad economy. People are struggling just to pay their bills and keep their houses. And the seats at Chase Field are not cheap. Let’s say a family of four wants to attend a game and sit in seats close to the field down the third base line in left field. The tickets alone will cost over $100 dollars. And then there’s the concessions. A hot dog and coke will run you $10. If you include parking expenses, a day at the ol’ ball game will probably end up costing the family close to $200. Not quite like the good ol’ days. Oh well. On second thought, who are we to interfere with conventional wisdom and people’s priorities. So, go ahead and skip making your mortgage payment, paying your electric bill or eating and get out there and support your local millionaires! Maybe they’ll get a clue.

Sports fans will sacrifice anything in order to support their local millionaires.