The election is fast approaching and Joe Biden is maintaining his lead nationally over America’s Impeached CEO/Dictator and petulant man child Donald Trump. The odds of the Democrats keeping the House also looks very good right now and the Dems may even take back the Senate. Since we’re Arizonans here at the Bucket, we’re concerned about the Senate race here and it appears that Democratic candidate Mark Kelly has a commanding lead over Martha McSally.
We’ve posted before about Trump’s rubber stamp McSally. She ran for the Senate in 2018 and got trounced by Kyrsten Sinema, who became the first Democratic Senator since the 1990s. Then Arizona Governor Republican Doug Ducey (pronounced douchey) appointed her to serve in the late John McCain’s seat until the 2020 election. So, McSally got rejected but still got a Senate seat: par for the course in Republican America (see Donald Trump losing the popular vote in 2016 and George W. Bush losing the popular vote in 2000 and still ‘winning’). The majority of Arizonans, who are mostly Independents, clearly don’t like her and her attack ads against Mark Kelly are not only stupid but misleading and mostly false. But’s that not surprising. Look who’s her idol. . . the biggest pathological liar this country’s ever seen.
We think that the photo-toon below of Ms. McSilly kissing Trump’s ass . . . (oooops, that’s his face. . . easy to get confused). . . perfectly sums up our feelings on the soon to be ex-Senator from Arizona.
The cowardly, obsequious Senate Republicans are in quite a pickle and stand to lose the Executive Branch, House and even the Senate by continuing to prop up Trump. It reminds us of the classic Twilight Zone episode called Its a Good Life, in which a spoiled, petulant little boy (played by Billy Mumy) with extraordinary powers terrorizes everyone in the community and no one stands up to him for fear of being ‘sent to the cornfield’. They just repeat over and over how great he is and that everything he does is ‘real good’, while the terror goes on and on and on. Sound familiar? In 2020, Republicans are living in their own self-manufactured Twilight Zone. Like this video from the Lincoln Project says, may they all suffer the deserved consequences for their fecklessness in letting democracy die in America.
Since we’re talking about the gawdawful stupidity of collegiate and professional sports, it’s time for another edition of Helmet Hilarity. We think the funniest thing about football and collegiate sports are some of the school and team mascots. For instance, the Banana Slugs of the University of California at Santa Cruz or the Artichokes of Scottsdale Community College evoke a hilarious image, especially if you saw a big banana slug or an artichoke depicted on a football player’s helmet. So, in this vein we present our feature, Helmet Hilarity, featuring the helmets of obscure collegiate teams (or future football teams) and their unconventional, zany mascots.
Today we present a possible new contender for the Redskins. We did a BilgeBucket List several years ago about the re-branding theme; the top new names for the Washington Redskins. While the most logical new moniker would be Warriors, (you could keep the current color scheme and even the classic spear helmet), we’d like to see one of the names we suggested from our Bucket List get chosen. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if the team name was changed to the D.C. Cherry Blossoms. We can just picture the pink helmet with a big cluster of cherry blossoms depicted on it, with pink, creme and cherry red uniforms. What manly man, testosterone crazed football fan in D.C. wouldn’t love it, amirite? Just imagine the excitement of the brand new Thanksgiving Day rivalry between the Cowboys and the Cherry Blossoms. Getting goosebumps yet? Or how about the ‘fierce mascot’ match-up between the Cardinals and the Cherry Blossoms? You could bring a picnic lunch and take a nap. ‘Cuz you know . . . there’s nothing more important in life for Americans than football and just like Family Guy needed Conway Twitty, Trump and the Republicans desperately need the distraction of professional and collegiate sports to obfuscate their gross incompetence and malfeasance to voters even if it means that the athletes could catch the coronavirus, which many baseball players have done already. But then again, sacrificing one’s health for the good of the economy is what living in Trumpland is all about. So, GO CHERRY BLOSSOMS!!!
With all the drama of the impeachment unfolding on a day to day basis, the Democratic presidential primaries have been pushed to the back burner. Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden and Elizabeth Warren continue to be the front runners, with Mayor Pete Buttigieg, Michael Bloomberg, Andrew Yang and Amy Klobuchar still hanging on with the Iowa caucuses just a week away.
So, really . . . what is Ms. Gabbard’s deal? What’s her motivation? What the hell is she up to? We here at the Bucket think it’s something more egotistical. We think that the enigma that is Ms. Gabbard sees that the stairwell to the Democratic nomination is blocked and will be for many years to come with every Democrat currently still running polling well ahead of her. Like Reagan and Trump, (both former Democrats), the possibility exists that she could get the Republican nomination if she switches parties. Her vote against Trump’s impeachment certainly endeared her to Trump’s nutbag supporters and her approval is very strong from conservative males (gee, go figure that! . . . see the saga of Sarah Palin). Plus, she’s from a heavily Democratic state. Look at all the fawning Democrats do over moderate Republicans from heavily Republican states who side (or appear to side) with Dems (the late John McCain, Susan Collins, Spiff Romney) and you’ll get it. You have to have a gynormous ego to run for president, and Ms. Gabbard certainly is developing a colossal one. Since she has absolutely no chance to win the Democratic nomination in 2020, here’s our bold and fearless, purely comedic conjecture prediction for Ms. Gabbard: she runs for President as a Republican in 2024. Remember: we predicted a Ralph Nader landslide in the 2004 election so . . . yeah . . . we’re . . . probably . . . wrong.