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If It Sounds Muslimy, Bomb It

From the unfrickingbelievable file…

In the wake of the recent Republican debate for the joke that is Con-a-thon 2016, where frontrunners Ted Cruz and Donald Trump announced proudly that they would carpet bomb ISIS in Syria, a poll conducted by the Public Policy Polling (PPP) found that 30% of Republicans and 41% of Donald Trump supporters were in favor of the United States magic carpet bombing the city of Agrabah. The only problem is that the city of Agrabah is the fictional city in Disney’s film Aladdin. But as evident in the last twenty years, facts and reality don’t matter to today’s right wing, teabagging, conservative, christian Republican. Their motto; if it sounds muslimy, bomb it!

Reneck Republican voters and Trump supporters say if it sounds muslimy, then bomb it.

Some red state Republican voters intellectually discuss the necessity of carpet bombing the very muslimy sounding city of Agrabah.

Walker Walks

And another one bites the dust…

That Republican clown car is getting roomier and roomier. Scott Walker has exited the farce that is Con-a-thon 2016. This one is a bit of a shocker for us here at the Bucket. Walker was one of the darlings of the deep pocketed (or is it derp pocketed) Koch brothers. We figured he would be in it until the Republican convention. But his poll numbers dropped to less than 1%, so he decided to walk. We’ll sum up his departure simply; a simple photo-toon for a simple man.

Scott Walker sums up his 2016 presidential campaign with a big derp.

Scott Walker sums up his 2016 presidential campaign in true Walkeresque fashion.

Rewind: Bush Administration Logo

It’s shocking to us here at the Bucket how horrible people’s memories are. A recent poll of 1400 people revealed that more people think President Obama is a worse President than George W. Bush. Were these people unconscious during Bush’s eight years in office? The Bush administration routinely practiced crony capitalism with favored corporations and the Bush tax cuts to the 1% made most Americans poorer and brought America to the brink of disaster. Not to mention the trillions of dollars spent on clusterf*ck quagmire wars of Afghanistan and Iraq. There were also 13 attacks on U.S. embassies causing 98 deaths during the Bush years in addition to the 9/11 attacks which caused 3,000 deaths. Then he used the 9/11 attacks for political purposes over the next three years to keep the sheeple scared.  Oh and then there was the stacking of the Supreme Court with conservative ideologists and activists who have not only opened the door wide for unrestrained corporatism but have given corporations control over females reproductive rights and apparently freedom to push their religion down employees throat. And of course the Bushies denied any wrongdoing while only giving access to Fox News, a.k.a the Republican Propaganda Network. Alternet has a list of some of Bush’s more spectacular failuresFortunately, most historians’ memories haven’t faded and they continue to rank Bush as one of the worst presidents. Here’s a photo-toon from our February 18, 2007 issue which shows the Bush Administration replacing the presidential seal with a more appropriate logo reflective of their ‘moral’ values.

The Bush Administration has commissioned a new logo to more properly reflect the current administration's 'moral' values of Deceit, Denial and Dough.

President George W. Bush has commissioned a new logo to more properly reflect the Bush Administration's 'moral' values.

 

The Poor Rich

Recently, billionaire venture capitalist, Tom Perkins, made headlines by comparing the ‘plight’ of the 1%ers to the Jews in Nazi Germany. He says that he fears a progressive Kristallnacht is coming because the 99% resents the success of the 1%. Wow! We thought the rich were out of touch before, but this is stunning. We don’t think the 99% resents the 1% for their success, we think it’s because of the plutocracy’s unabashed, all-consuming greed. But maybe Perkins is right. If the plutocrats in this country, and all over the world, keep acting like victims maybe they will get a thumping.

A poor plutocrat convinces a member of the ruthless 99% that it's the 1%ers who are being persecuted.

A poor plutocrat convinces a member of the ruthless 99% that it's the 1%ers who are being persecuted.

 

Congress Is Great…At Sucking

It appears that our congress has reached a new level of ineptitude. According to recent polls, congressional approval is down to 10% in a Gallup poll and 11% in a recent Rasmussen poll. Of course, this is to be expected since our Congress is made up of jellyfish (Democrats) and crybabies (Republicans). This says a lot about Americans as well. It’s been this way for some time and yet we continually send these same clowns back to Washington instead of sending new faces with fresh ideas from other parties. It’s like a certain segment of our population is comfortable with this clearly dysfunctional representation. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Maybe for the next election, we should try electing new people and new parties in Washington.

At least our bought-off-and-paid-for-corporate-loving congress has agreed on a bipartisan message for all us Americans who aren’t a corporation.

The United States congress has finally come together for a special message to the non-corporate American electorate.

 

RNC 2004: The Neocon Future for America

Here’s the final installment of our RNC 2004 retrospective…

The future plan for America for the Neocons is the same in 2012 as it was in 2004: there will be tax cuts for the 1%ers and corporate welfare especially for oil, gas, energy, insurance, finance and defense corporations which will make the rich richer and demolish the middle class thus creating a super lower class to work for pittances in corporations or the military. And thanks to imperialistic foreign policy, perpetual wars will become the norm.  If Romney is elected, you can bet that war with Iran, Syria or some other perceived belligerent will be a certainty. And we’ll stay indefinitely in Afghanistan, the place where empires go to die. Romney will actually make the Dubya years look good. Yes, the future looks pretty bright for neoconservative America.

Little Tommy Kimball prepares for his future in neoconservative America.

The Used Car Salesman

With the withdrawal of Rick “Google Me” Santorum from the Republican Presidential race, frontrunner Spiff Romney is practically assured of the nomination in the farce that is Con-a-thon 2012. This means that Americans will be deluged with malarkey from Republicans for the next six months on Romney being a man of the people, when the reality is he’s been born with a silver spoon in his mouth and has lived a very privileged life much like the 1%ers and the ‘people who are corporations’ he truly represents. But he’s great at conning people with his Pepsodent smile, not-a-hair-out-of-place hairstyle and dapper clothing. He’s the GOP used car salesman. So believe the flip-flopper, Spiff Romney, at your own risk America.  If you buy his bs, chances are you and America will be getting a lemon.

Likely GOP Presidential nominee and flip-flopper extraordinaire, Spiff Romney, uses his used car salesman tactics to cajole lowly poor people into voting for him this fall.

Santorum, Kansas: Proudly Entering the Stone Age

It looks like Rick “Google Me” Santorum has won the Kansas caucuses in the sham that is… Con-a-thon 2012. Yes a whopping 1% of the population in Kansas cast their votes Saturday and Mr. Santorum tallied an impressive 15,000 votes. Wow! Can you feel the excitement?! It’s like the ‘Joe-Mentum’ of Joe Lieberman all over again.

Of course it’s not surprising that Santorum won Kansas given it’s recent history of supporting teaching creationism…oops…I mean ‘intelligent design’ in its schools alongside evolution. And according to creationism…oops…I mean ‘intelligent design’ the world is only a few thousand years old and stone age man roamed the earth with fun loving dinosaurs frolicking at their heels. Here’s a photo-toon from our December 7, 2005 issue. The cave man’s resemblance to Mr. Santorum is uncanny!

The U.S. Mint reissued a newly designed Kansas state quarter to reflect the Kansas Board of Education's decision to allow teaching intelligent design in science classrooms alongside evolution.

Get Back In The Kitchen!

Amazingly, former Senator Rick “Google Me” Santorum, is the leader again in the joke that is Con-a-thon 2012, ‘surging’ last week and taking the caucuses in Colorado and Minnesota and the Missouri primary. Of course, like previous primaries and caucuses, the turnout was anemic, though you’d never get that info from the mainstream media. Total votes cast in Missouri; about 270,000 or 4.4% of the total population. Total votes cast in Colorado; about 66,000 or 1.3% of the total population. Total votes cast in Minnesota; about 49,000 or 0.9% of the population. I don’t think anyone can say these candidates are thrilling anybody, except maybe the 1%ers.

It’s especially interesting that Santorum is leading again given his archaic views on not only women, but topics like immigration, education, defense, evolution and life in general. We already knew about his anti-choice and anti-contraception stances; all out of the dark ages. But recently he said that women aren’t equipped for combat either and even has questioned the value of women in the workplace. Of course, these views are in line with the conservative agenda, and in particular conservative catholics. How can contraception be a sin when there are now 7 billion people on the planet?!!! We think that since Newt Gingrich has proposed a moon base, maybe Rick Santorum should propose building a time machine and travel back to the period in history that is more appropriate for his way of thinking: the days when neanderthal man roamed the earth, which according to Santorum’s creationist dogma was only about six thousand years ago.

GOP candidate Rick 'Google Me' Santorum, enlightens the 2012 CPAC convention about woman's place in American society.

 

Sponsors


Here are the fine sponsors of the BilgeBucket Gazette, all located in Cactus Corners, Arizona, America’s  trendiest suburb. Be sure to drop by and see them when you’re in town. If you mention our name, you’ll get a whopping 1% discount…or they may charge you extra. It’s a crap shoot, folks.

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