Cactus Corners Singles Adventure Club Calendar

The Cactus Corners Singles Adventure Club is a singles club for adventure seeking individuals in the Cactus Corners area. The BilgeBucket Gazette's own Dex Rexter, is a member of this fun loving group and has agreed to post upcoming events in an effort to boost membership. Meetings occur every other Friday at the Pink Gecko Karaoke Lounge in the Cactus Blossoms Strip Mall. Here are the exciting events planned for the coming weeks.

	Thursday, December 8 – Midnight rollerblading at Cactus Wash Drainage Ditch. Be sure sure to bring your flashlights, because it’s crazy dark down there. Word has it the concrete is a bit uneven, too. Helmuts and pads are optional.
	Friday, December 9 – Theater Night at Stage Left Theater In Cactus Sweat Strip Mall. Now playing, “I’m A Man, Gosh Darn It!: The Clay Aiken Story”, starring M. Teddy Fay as Clay Aiken and local rapper Phat N. Stanky as Ruben Stoddard . Due to increased production and gas costs, ticket prices have increased. Admission is now $100 for adults, $99 for students, and $98.50 for senior citizens.
	Saturday-Sunday, December10-December 11 – Hike planned at Gringo’s Gulch in Sonora, Mexico. After camping in the freezing desert west of Nogales Saturday night, we’ll take a trail used by drug runners into Mexico. Gringo’s Gulch isn’t far from the border. The trail is faint and overrun with brush but we are told there are helpful poor, hungry, angry Mexicans roaming the area who will probably be more than willing to assist us. Crossing back to America should be no problem since we won’t be going through any ‘official’ border crossing station, so no need to bring any identification.
	Tuesday, December 13 – Christmas party at Dale Carlson’s house. White elephant gift exchange featuring sex toys as gifts. Fun and games featuring old favorites like Chug The Mystery Nog, Guess Who’s Under The Mistletoe, and Come Sit On Santa’s Lap. Winners get one of Dale’s big, 12 inch candy canes as a prize.
	Thursday, December 15 – Happy Hour at Café Muy Caro in Cactus Pavilions Strip Mall. Join us for lackluster conversation, somewhat edible food, and tremendously overpriced drinks. Be sure to bring your credit cards, because you’ll get reamed worse here than at the gas pump.
	Saturday, December 17 – I Hate Men Night at Mistress Spankarella’s dungeon. Women, get your aggressions out on all men as Mistress Spankarella straps some poor schlep on the Wheel of Pain for some big time retribution. Rumor has it Lynndie England of Abu Ghraib fame may stop by to give pointers. A male volunteer is needed. Hello. Anyone?
	Tuesday, December 20 – Christmas caroling in the Cactus Corners Mall. Join the fun as we serenade shoppers with a plethora of holiday favorites like Gimme, Gimme, Gimme!, Guess Where You Can Stick Your Present? and Santa Claus: That Gay Ol’ Elf. Be sure to wear trash bags just in case the crowd pelts us with tomatoes like they did last year.