Cactus Corners Singles Adventure Club Calendar

The Cactus Corners Singles Adventure Club is a singles club for adventure seeking individuals in the Cactus Corners area. The BilgeBucket Gazette's own Dex Rexter, is a member of this fun loving group and has agreed to post upcoming events in an effort to boost membership. Meetings occur every other Friday at the Pink Gecko Karaoke Lounge in the Cactus Blossoms Strip Mall. Here are the exciting events planned for the coming weeks.

	Tuesday, November 14 – Make Your Own Turkey Day Decorations Night at Delores Romanowski’s house. We’ll be making pine cone turkeys, cornucopias, and pipe cleaner pilgrims. Bring your own booze. You’re going to need it.
	Thursday, November 16 – The Fall and Winter Fashion Show at Jaynie’s Fashion Barn. Club member, Mildred Hazuka, will be one of the Plus size models for the show. See the latest in flannel moo-moos for today’s inactive woman. Some lucky attendee could win a $25 gift certificate for Luby’s Cafeteria.
	Friday, November 17 – Dancing at Syzzle Nightclub. Yo, Yo, Yo! Get your groove on man at this funky hip-hop nightclub. We’ve been told this is the place to ‘boogie down’. So put on your pimp and ho outfits as we bust moves with the hip young college age kids. Cover charge only $80! What? $80? You gotta be kid... what fun!
	Sunday, November 19 – The Second Annual Walk To End Toejam. Help put an end to this nasty affliction by participating in the 0.5K walk around the Juggermart parking lot. The First Annual walk last year raised over $500,000 dollars which was promptly delivered to the poor, needy wretches with chronic toejam according to coordinator, Guido Scarpaccio, who is CEO of the Pantaloni Syndicate, which we assume is some sort of journalism agency. To enter just send in your non-refunadable $100 entrance fee to Guido Scarpaccio, P.O.Box 128, Cactus Corners, AZ 85999. All entrants will receive a pencil with the words ‘End Toejam’ engraved on it.
	Tuesday, November 21 – Adult Toy Party at Dale Carlson’s house hosted by Gigi Gozongas from Captain Caboom’s Sex Emporium. This former stripper gives us the low down on all the latest sexual devices for making the boudoir a spicier place. Door prizes include a XL13 Supra-Vibrator, velvet lined handcuffs and a years supply of Übergliden, Germany’s miracle lubricant. First ten attendees win a free body condom.
	Friday, November 24 – Shopping Blitzkreig at Cactus Corners Mall. Get a head start on Christmas shopping as we rise and shine at 3:00am and wait for the stores to open. Wear your shoulder pads, helmet, and spiked gloves because things get ugly quickly once the doors open. Be sure your medical coverage is up to date. You may get your kneecaps shattered or your nose broken, but look at all the money you’ll be saving!
	Sunday, November 26 – Mountain Bike Ride to Camp Vulture in the Tozona National Forest. If you survive the Shopping Blitzkreig join us for knuckle whitening adventure as we’ll bike on a secluded trail to an abandoned log cabin in the backwoods forty five miles from Prescott. Rumor has it old man Miller was hacked to pieces there some ten years ago and they still haven’t caught the killer. Lots of rugged up and down action with loose rocks, eroded trails, and precipitous cliffs on either side. The twenty mile trail has been rated the most hazardous trail in Arizona. We say Ha! Remember to pack your lunch, first aid kit and will.