Cactus Corners Singles Adventure Club Calendar

The Cactus Corners Singles Adventure Club is a singles club for adventure seeking individuals in the Cactus Corners area. The BilgeBucket Gazette's own Dex Rexter, is a member of this fun loving group and has agreed to post upcoming events in an effort to boost membership. Meetings occur every other Friday at the Pink Gecko Karaoke Lounge in the Cactus Blossoms Strip Mall. Here are the exciting events planned for the coming weeks.

	Thursday, April 27 – Cooking with Bugs Night at Professor Gerald Jacoby’s house. “Everybody hates me. Nobody likes me. I’m gonna eat some worms.” Remember that delightful song from childhood? Did you get so despondent you actually ate worms or bugs? Relive those bittersweet moments or just get a taste of Fear Factor as entomologist Professor Jacoby shares some of his best insect recipes like Chocolate Covered Grasshoppers, Scorpion Scampi, and Jalapeño Roach Poppers. We’ll wash it all down with some Two Buck Chuck. Yummers!!
	Friday, April 28 – CCAW RAW Night at Cactus Corners Memorial Arena. Get up close and personal with Cactus Corner’s answer to the WWE, the CCAW (Cactus Corners Association of Wrestling). Rub elbows with local favorites like The Gila Monster, Dr. W.A.S.P., El Gordo Cholo and perennial doormat, Larry the Masturbating Hobo. We’re sitting in the front rows, so make sure your insurance covers getting squashed by wrestlers. Tickets are only $89.95. No wagering, please.
	Sunday, April 30 – Outing planned at Guano Grande Caverns near Benson. We’ll explore the latest natural cave discovered in Arizona and opened to an unsuspecting public. These dark, unstable caverns are home to all kinds of bats including vampire bats. We’ll be hiking through dimly lit, narrow passages with loose rock all around us. Bring raincoats because the bats will be dropping guano on us like rain. Wear your hip waders because the bat leavings sometimes get waist high. Since the bat scat is somewhat noxious, gas masks are optional. Shit loads of fun if you survive!
	Tuesday, May 2 – Strip Hungry Hungry Hippos Night at Phyllis Gordon’s house. Enjoy this favorite game from the 70’s as we play a round robin tournament. Players not only have to remove an article of clothing for every marble captured, they have to drink a shot of Jack Daniels. Thank goodness for hotter temperatures! And yes; Shirley Ray Bodine will be attending, so relief parking at Cactus Corners Mall and a shuttle bus will be provided. Remember to call in sick to work the rest of the week.
	Friday, May 5 – Cinco de Mayo Party at El Muerto Toro in Cactus Diablo Strip Mall. If you’ve recovered from Hungry Hungry Hippos, make sure to attend this fiesta caliente. Authentic legal Mexicans will be serving authentic legal Mexican food. Battle of the Bands featuring El Grupo Jetz vs El Grupo Sharkz. Cantinflas look-a-like contest, la Cucaracha (roach) racing and a donkey show round out the exciting festivities.
	Sunday, May 7 – Picnic at Burro Thief Bend Park near Wikieup. If you haven’t been to Wikieup, you haven’t lived! We’ll eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches under the blazing sun at one of the quaint, uncovered, termite infested, picnic tables at Suicide Point. There are no outhouses so bring your own bucket. This area is also home to many types of wildlife; wild burros, scorpions and the extremely poisonous Mojave rattler. Don’t explore too much because the van returns to Phoenix promptly at 5:30pm; so if you miss it, you’re on your own.
	Tuesday, May 9 – “In Your Face” Volleyball night at Uncle Jeb’s Sand Volleyball Emporium on Western and Prospector Way. First one to spike one off Dale Carlson’s head gets a free plate of nachos; break one of his limbs and get a free pitcher of beer. Fifty dollar gift certificate from The Gun Bin for player with the most kill shots for the night.