Cactus Corners Singles Adventure Club Calendar

The Cactus Corners Singles Adventure Club is a singles club for adventure seeking individuals in the Cactus Corners area. The BilgeBucket Gazette's own Dex Rexter, is a member of this fun loving group and has agreed to post upcoming events in an effort to boost membership. Meetings occur every other Friday at the Pink Gecko Karaoke Lounge in the Cactus Blossoms Strip Mall. Here are the exciting events planned for the coming weeks.

	Tuesday, January 4 - Lizard Night at Professor Ludwig Kazinski's house. Spend the night answering trivia questions on the vastly entertaining field of herpetology. Let Professor Kazinski's thirty-foot albino python wrap itself around your body and give you a hug. The winner gets a free gila monster to take home as a lovable pet.
	Thursday, January 6 - Cinema Night at Cactus Corners Budget Theaters in Cactus Mercado Strip Mall. We'll be seeing the universally panned Surviving Christmas starring Ben Affleck. Admission is only $3.50. Popcorn and soda prices range from $17.00 for small to $35.00 for garbage pail. Management forbids outside food or drinks.
	Friday, January 7 - Dancing at the Incestuous Frog near the Cactus Corners Mall. Admission is free for the ladies, $25.00 for men. Women also get free drinks. Guys pay double. D.J. Sylvester plays your disco favorite hits from yesteryear like Making It, Ring My Bell, Get Dancing and It's Raining Men. Best 70's costume wins a groovy Disco Duck t-shirt autographed by Rick Dees.
	Sunday, January 9 - Hike planned at Grommet's Ravine near Wickenburg. This area used to be an industrial waste dump and has been semi-cleaned up. If we're lucky, we'll see a few wild dogs, cats and three-eyed mice. Wear waterproof shoes since some of the left over toxic sludge tends to eat through shoe leather and skin.
	Tuesday, January 11 - Bridge Night at Dale Carlson's house. Every time a trump is made, everybody chugs a beer and says, "You're fired!" Great fun! The team that wins the most rubbers, wins a box of rubbers. Great fun! The individual, who wins the most tricks for the night, gets to use the rubbers to turn some tricks. Great fun!
	Thursday, January 13 - Cooking With Spam Night at Sarah Milton's house. Sarah goes over her favorite recipes for cooking meals with Spam: everything from Spam omelettes to delicious Spam cupcakes. Spam, spam, spam. Bring your pen and paper. You'll want to jot these down.
	Saturday, January 15 - Swinging at Nutcracker's Social Club on Phoenix's West Side. Wear some bling and bring your swing! Special fun rooms include a dungeon, a doctor's office, and a congressional chamber. Admission is $50. Check with club personnel prior to arrival for appropriate gang signs to flash for entrance. Firearms are recommended. If you know what's good for you, don't stare at the midget.